Mrs. Mom

I think it started when Aaron and I took our dog Holly to obedience class.  The trainer blatantly told us, "I will only know of you as Holly's parents."  I know it sounds silly, but that is the first time that I realized my identity could and in fact will be as someone's something, ie Holly's mom, Aaron's wife, and now Connor's mom.  I'm not saying this is bad, it's just different. 

I've always seen myself as an independent woman and not someone's qualifier.  When I got married, it took me awhile to decide to even hyphenate my last name.  Now I get the joy of signing a ridiculously long name, which is annoying in itself.  But hey, I kept something.  So first came the Mrs.

And now the Mom.  I'm now known as Connor's mom.  Don't get me wrong, I love being associated with the cutest baby in the entire world (no I'm not partial), but really?  I do have a name...

This brings me to the bigger issue of who I am now and my relationships.  One of the most important relationships I have is with my husband.  Becoming a wife and mother were the best things in my life.  It totally changed my life for the better, but it definitely made things different.  Right now, I don't have a job outside of going to school.  I was very nervous about not having an income to contribute to our household expenses.  I remember even talking to my mother in law saying that I was worried Aaron wouldn't respect me anymore.  She looked at me and said of course he will, he is madly in love with you.  Aaron and I had many discussions about it and he reassured me about it all. But I was still nervous.  How would he react when my spending money had to come out of his money?  He's been totally great about it, thank goodness.  It still weighs on my mind from time to time, but I think of it as he has his jobs (yes multiple) and I have mine (taking care of Connor). I think it definitely affects stay at home moms idea of themselves, but a supportive partner helps.  My relationship with Aaron has grown immensely, mostly because we talk things out, experience parenthood together, and support each other's decisions. 

So this fiercely independent woman has become a Mrs. Mom.  However, if I meet a new person I am totally proud of saying "Hello, my name is Rebecca, Connor's mom and Aaron's wife."  :)